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Inane thoughts

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Tuesday, March 08, 2005 in
I am contented with my life, but I don't know why somewhere I see this empty space! I am quite happy now, but I don't know why I forsee some fear. Everything is perfectly alright, then why do I hear a faint 'danger' bell? I know, if you look at me, you'd surely exclaim, "Wow, you've got a perfect life". I may accept your compliment, and start thinking that way too, like 'well, yes..I have got everything...just everything I ever needed to make my life perfect!' But why....why do I still see that there's something missing...that even if I try to fill that gap, I'd fail! I had never been such a pessimist. You know me, right? Even if I had negative thoughts about my life, I'd brush them off and I'd start talking about a totally different thing. Am I right? Then what now? Well, I have changed...Yes, I have changed a lot. I never wanted to be like that. I used to give a natural smile; a true smile. But now, I paste a fake smile on my face. Why? This never used to be ME. This never used to happen. It seems like I am losing myself! I am losing the 'perfect girl' inside me.

Am I joining the horrid group of those tension-friendly ladies?
I hear a voice saying YES....Im trying hard to hear some "No" but will I ever succeed in hearing it? Well, who knows.

I don't want to grow old, cuz I realize tension beads increase as age increases. I wish time could freeze. Oh, Wishful thinking! I miss BiYA. If she had been here, I wouldn't have been sitting here writting this silly post! I would have posted about loadsa french fries that I enjoyed today. She's the greatest sister! Really!

"The learned fool writes his nonsence in a better language than the unlearned, but it is still nonsence"
-Benjamin Franklin

Cheerio

[hmm...you wasted your time in reading this post, right?]

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