15

Just an Apple!

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Friday, February 24, 2006 in
(M:Me, D:Dad)

M: *innocently* I need an Apple.
D: *uninterested*Nice Sentence!
M: *flared up* I said I need an Apple.
D: You know it's not healthy to have apples at this hour. I'll get you a dozen tomorrow morning.
M: I don't want a dozen. I need just one.
D: *raised an eyebrow* Just one?
M: Yeah. Just one. A 12-inch PowerBook G4 Apple laptop.
D: *jaws dropped open*
M: No, that wasn't french. I need an Apple.
D: I suspected that. So?
M: *waiting for his answer* So...what?
D: *enraged* So, what do you want from me?
M: *innocently* I need an Apple...

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3

So neatly broken!

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Thursday, February 23, 2006 in ,

Hey hey, I didn't do that!

:P

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8

Chronological Disorder!

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 in
Inconsistency is the most consistent thing I am facing these days!

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17

The truth about lying

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Sunday, February 12, 2006 in
There was once a time when, like other kids, I would lie too much. Every minute would consist of a brand new lie.

"You did your homework?"
"Yes, I did."

are one of the ordinary, day-to-day lies. When I joined my O-Levels, I didn't get the right type of company (hehe). So I cultivated the habit of lying too much. Too too much. When other kids would have those Mercedes, I would also keep the latest model of Lexus. Even now if people say, I drive Ferrari, I also go like saying, "So what, I drive an Aston Martin too." But hey, this is not a lie. I really drive Aston Martin [in NFS] :P. People would even visit their cousins in London on a mere weekend. So, I would also go and enjoy my summer vacations in the Cayman Island. =)

But after my O-Levels, when all of us ran to different schools for A-Levels, I became a better kid again. Hehe. But again, as I am not that lucky, I got a few classmates who'd lie. Well, there was just one. He would have his business in almost every continent. Mine was not. He would earn a monthly income in 6-7 figures, that too in Dollars! I was happy on my Rs. 200. He would blah a lot and I, like other people, would stay quiet and make fun after he's gone.

Probably I got a piece of mind from somewhere or what, but I really tried, and even succeeded, in talking truth! For instance, now when I don't do lunch and mom asks me, "Have you had your lunch?", I can't say Yes. She glares and scolds me when I say a NO, but seriously YES doesn't pop out of my mouth. If she asks, "How much did you spend?", I answer honestly and tell exactly how much money I wasted and in what. But now, she doesn't ask me =)

Sometimes I think why people lie. To save themselves or to save others? Whatever the reason is it's not good. And I am trying not to lie as frequenly as I used to. Hehehe....

Cheerio folks =)

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9

The perfect husband

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Friday, February 10, 2006 in
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only 1,000."
H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. Its a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price . and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..
H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...
H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."
H - "How much are they asking?"
W - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK,sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - "Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks "Does anyone know who this Cellphone belongs to???"

So people! keep ur mobile phones safe :)

[As always, I forgot where I read it]

Cheerio =)

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13

Life Stinks

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Wednesday, February 08, 2006 in
Ah well, no doubt about it...It stinks!

How?

1: When you're feeling happy about something, and your maids run away, and being the only 'girl' available in the house, you have to take the responsibilies. [Girls, don't you just hate that?] Your happiness goes straight down the drain. :-/

2: Now, the shocking news....I can't keep you guys waiting for the not-so-good thing....so here it goes. Got 3.25 GPA. Yeah, yeah. All those who think this is good are just....well, leave it... And those who think I could have done better are very right! Cuz, I DID do better and really I deserved a better grade... in Accounting especially. *gets out of control* You really don't know how much I studied for it. I would spend days and nights just in balancing those ultra idiotic Bank Statements and Balance Sheets. You don't know how much ink I have wasted in those days. I've not had two hours undisturbed sleep since my exams. My horrifying teacher and those horrific grades would haunt me all the night and I would search for a place to hide. I started having eternal headache. Argh!!! Now, as it is all over, the result's here, still my headache is not leaving me easily. Probably because this wave of anger is not receding. And to top it off, I'll have to study Accounting for almost 4 years! Cuz it's all about 2+2= *calculates* oh yeah... = 4! Heck!

And today was the awefulliest moment when I figured out that I got a B in Accounting. Had it been a B of O/A Levels, it would have been okay, cuz B means 80% - 89%. But, as I don't remember, and don't even want to recall the percentage limit of B here in the university, I can't tell you. Heaven's goodness, today I didn't find my teacher's car in the parking, or I would have seriously stoned it! Our teacher would not allow us to use the terms Debtor/Creditor but would insist on using Accounts Recievable/Accounts Payable. I mean, who has got TIME to write such long, almost half-paged words????

But well, the thing that made me (err...not so) glad was that I got an A in Economics. That was confirmed though. And most importantly who can't get an A in an easy course as this. Got a B+ in Applied Math. I'm glad about it. *pronounces with disgust*Got B in all other courses!

3: I want John Grisham's 'Broker'!!!! Do you hear it??? I really really really want to read a goooooood book. Suggest me more pwease. [Reading Arms and the Man by G.B.Shaw. It's about to end, so I need a new book before it ends].

4: Life stinks because I'm having a headache AGAIN...Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Someday, the world will face a shortage of Disprins!

5: And this idiotic mosquito is not leaving me..Heck...It's just one but seriously a pain in the neck! I've made several hopeless attempts in killing it, but that lucky creature always finds a way out of my palms. Errrr. I think I am not trying to kill it. I really can't kill roaches, their kiddy roaches, lizards, their baby lizards and idiotic mosquitoes. Once, I accidently killed a mosquito. I really had no intention of touching it, but the annoyance it was creating for me urged me to try once and kill it. I made a weak attempt and that thing landed lazily on my foot. My hands and foot got drenched in crimson blood. Yuck!!! I know how I washed that filth! *slaps the air to shoo the ill creature away and searches for Mortein*

6: Yikes! It's quarter past 2. But I am not sleepy!!! Does anybody know a good lullaby by a famous singer??

Cheerio folks!!!

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10

Errors and Mistakes

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Saturday, February 04, 2006 in
~Windows had detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9' to continue. (by Unknown)

~ Kal raat main nay night match khaila. (by Jaj)

~Aaj subah, I went on a morning walk. (by Me)

~Artist is afraid if he can do this role well or not. But when you find a good director, aap ka wo darr kahin disappear ho ker gha'ib ho jata hay. (by Sushmita Sen)

~This is an important line. Iss ko neechay say underline karo! (by Me)

~Chup ho ker silent ho jao! (by Me)

~Maah-e-Ramzan ka maheena bohat ba-barkat hota hay (by almost everyone)

~Aab-e-Zamzam kay paani main bohat shifa hoti hay. (by almost everyone)

~Haleeb milk! ( by Chaudry Dairies Ltd. I don't know their new name)

~Gaari main chal rahi ho walk kernay??? (by my brother)

~Do it quick. Time kam hay, waqt ziada hay (by an old classmate)

~You won't believe it, but it's true. I utilized 50 internet hours in just ONE day (by the same classmate)

~(The bull died)
بیل مر گئی (by me and Bushi)

How often do we make such mistakes??? Exclude me and Jaj from 'we' cuz we both make such mistakes intentionally :p. And thankfully, we know the art of making others not smile, but laugh! ;o)

But what should one say when Bushi says, "Land Looser by Toyota is not a good car" [Looser = Cruiser] *sighs*

Cheerio folks!

=)

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11

Ayesha Khan!!!

Posted by Umema Siddiqi on Friday, February 03, 2006 in ,


The blessed child!!!


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Playing with her grandfather's (my dad's) hair


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"Awww...Lala will you please stop taking my pics or you need a punch from me??? Decide now!"

And I stopped! :o)
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Cheerio folks!!

=)

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