3
More Worst Analogies Ever
Posted by Umema Siddiqi
on
Sunday, August 07, 2005
in
l'humour
From Actual School Essays
1~He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Joseph Romm, Washington
2~She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
3~The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Russell Beland, Springfield
4~McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
5~From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Roy Ashley, Washington
6~Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
7~Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Russell Beland, Springfield
8~Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake
Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
9~Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Unknown
10~He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
11~The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
12~Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Jennifer Hart, Arlington
13~The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
14~They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth
Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
15~John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Russell Beland, Springfield
16~The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
17~His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
18~The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Unknown
[Source: 'Sunday' - Daily Times (I guess this is the name)]
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1~He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
Joseph Romm, Washington
2~She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
3~The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Russell Beland, Springfield
4~McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
5~From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Roy Ashley, Washington
6~Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
7~Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Russell Beland, Springfield
8~Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake
Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
9~Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Unknown
10~He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
11~The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
12~Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Jennifer Hart, Arlington
13~The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
14~They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth
Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
15~John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Russell Beland, Springfield
16~The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
17~His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
18~The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Unknown
[Source: 'Sunday' - Daily Times (I guess this is the name)]
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