I am feeling DOWN, cuz I'm UPset!

Posted by Dinky Mind on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 in

Caution: All crap written below. Dont forget you have the option of closing this window.

Breaking news!
Slept at 5:15 am, and got up at 9:15 am today! Never ever in my life have I slept this little. I had 7-hour sleep in the past two days! Ohhhhh...there was once a time, when 7-hour sleep would be termed as my nap! Ohhhhh....my glorious past...cannot forget it!

I wasn't dissatisfied over my 4-hour sleep today, because today was 25th Jan. Today, when I had to experience two totally different situations...one is of happiness, and the other is of melancholy. I did not know that the opposite news will go in the same direction and will become one by evening. At about quarter to eleven in the morning, I came across the gloomy news! My colourful world turned to grey. I was dead deep down inside. Suddenly tears floated in my eyes, and within a second or two, those desperate tears finally came out of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I was kind of electrocuted! But then, there were people around me to console; who were, I know, greatly disappointed, but still consoled me! They said, I am crying for nothing good. They said its just okay. They said life has got ups and downs, and these days you are experiencing your 'downs'. I wanted to run out in the rain and cry as much as I could. I wanted to cry like those clouds up above me. Those clouds were like me....grey, gloomy, and crying like me! At that time, I was reminded of those lines from 'Father and Son'
'And all the times that I cried,
keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree
But its them you know not me
Now there's a way, and I know
That I have to go away.
I know, I have to go away.'

Probably, whatever I am saying is just totally incomprehendable, but really, its hard to ignore it!
I tried to forget it, tried to make my day normal again. I never wanted to show my teary face to the people around me. So, I started thinking of other things. It helped me, but not much, as in the evening, I came to know that today's good news has turned into a bad one. Barry is not coming to Pakistan now! That was more than enough to take me to the heights of ultimate gloom. Because, before this news, I was alive on the feeling that Barry will come and make me happy again.

Now, I am greatly tensed! Don't know what the rising sun of tomorrow will bring me. Shaadi fun has started in our house. Those great events are there to hail me, but then 'Life is a road filled with unpredictable forks and unexpected tomorrows...' These forks; these obstacles are not letting me move an inch forward. They are not letting me to greet those events. The way I am tensed today, at this very moment, is way too unusual. I had never been a tension-friendly girl, so why now, why today only? I know, rather I am sure, someday I'll totally forget about it, and wouldn't even care about it. But what about today? What am I gonna do today? I'm upset! In a real bad mood.

Sorry buddies if I ruined your mood.

*sadly waves* Cheerio.



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