Good day and good morning!
Here is your early morning tea
and here are your crack-a-dawn cereals.
Sugar is also provided.
Breakfast in bed, room service calling!
Are you awake?
Darren, sit up! I'm giving you
ten seconds, starting now!
TEN.
The weather outside is fine - at least
by North Sea standards.
NINE.
Just a fresh Force Six blowing and a spot
of rain lashing the rooftops.
EIGHT.
The sun is shining - lucky Australians!
The bus, however, is on time
according to local radio -
SEVEN -
and if you want to walk again and be
reported to the Head that is your business
but -
SIX - I have a bus to catch too
and you can pay for a taxi out of your pocket money
if I miss it the third morning running.
FIVE. Your gerbil has been eaten by the dog
and the dog has been eaten by a crocodile
that got in down the chimney and is, at the moment,
opening it jaws over your toes-
feel it? No? Oh well.
FOUR. A letter has just arrived,
postmarked Wembley, inviting you to play
for England next Saturday against Czechoslovakia -
bet you won't be late for that -
THREE.
Czechoslovakia is one of the eighteen spellings
wrong in your Geography homework.
Why wasn't it handed in last week? I found
the letter you forged from your dad
stating you had a dental appointment
on Friday afternoon -
TWO - you could
at least have spelt his Christian name right
and the address. Make an appointment with him
an hour after you intend to go out tonight.
ONE. This is your mother speaking
and I am about to pour tea
over your head, even if it causes me
extra washing. I won't begrudge the powder.
Darren, I'm giving you
HALF A SECOND,
A QUARTER,AN EIGHTH. No this is not a nightmare,
no the trickle of water you feel at this moment,
is NOT an illusion...
[By Brian Morse
from Bushi's English Book]
Cheerio folks =)
|