Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…"
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh…, hold……….on……889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK… you're… Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling fromnow Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza…"
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even highercholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?… What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library lastweek Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you oweyour bank $3,720.55 since October last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guyarrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machinewithdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna takeanyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on yourmotorcycle…"
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own aScooter,…registration number 1123…"
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing… by the way… aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola asadvertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic……. "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of usingabusive language on a policeman…?"
Customer: [Faints]


Cheerio folks =)

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Those who know the meaning of OLPM need to stay quiet (SD, you especially) and those who don't know what it means should not even ask for it. Not a good word, I tell you :P

Anyways, coming back to the topic. Our beloved maidservant has gone on a 2-week vacation. Mommyyyy.... :'( She manages the house so well that Ammi and I have grown fat, like REAL fat! So, in these 2 weeks of her absense, we both can lose weight to a great extent!

I can do everything - like ironing a million clothes, and I seriously enjoy doing laundry and cooking and baking, and I don't even mind jharoofying or pochafying the place, but cleaning the bathrooms....it's one thing that almost kills me! I want my bathroom to be all dry and stink-free! But this lil brother of mine fumes me up by saying, "I just can't hold this wiper! And hence, I'm not going to wipe the bathroom", and then he teases me more and runs away! Why on earth are brothers like that??? Tell me, does any wiper weigh 50 kgs? Nahi na? Then why the heck can't he just take 2 and a half minutes out of his stupid busy schedule to wipe the idiotic bathroom???? ARGH!!!! And when the toothpaste 'accidently' flows out of the tube into the washbasin, he just makes an ultra innocent face and says, "mein ne kuch nahi kia, so please clean it!" And I swallow my anger and enter the wet bathroom!

God, and at the end I have to clean it, obviously. But sharing your bathroom with kiddy bros or sistas isn't a neat idea at all.

Cheerio folks =(

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It's so hard to wake up early on a Monday morning, especially if you had a busy Sunday and you slept late. That's for people in general. For me, waking up early everyday is so uninteresting. And instead of thinking about the tedious 45 minutes drive, I try to rejuvenate (or well, console) myself by the thought of the nice cloudy morning weather and soft breeze (which is so rare over here, yet I daily slide the windows down to feel it). I haven't yet grown used to this 2- hour daily drive, but thankfully the world is so full of little things that make me happy - like funny poetry on falooda carts, chirping birds, swaying trees, even the sun lit road sometimes seems so beautiful, the broken street lamps sometimes look so artistic, and even playing with the scroll bar of the mouse, or holding the earphones quite near to notice the magnetic field. There are so many things that I just can't fully define. And Alhamodillah I'm blessed to see and feel all these blessings.

And only with the thought of enjoying all these blessings, I drag myself out of bed every morning and look for tiny things that help me make happy.

Enjoy your Mondays =)

Cheerio folks =)

PS: Just seven more working days over here and my hectic internship would be over! Yahooooo :D

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If my sister and I have one sister each, how many sisters do we each have?

1) 4
2) ammi se pooch kar bataonga
3) forgot to bring my calculator
4) question tooooo personal

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Got this book yesterday, and finished reading it in one go. It was very interesting, but had too many characters. So it was hard to keep track of all of them, and I kept on going back to previous chapters to find who's daughter Agnes was, etc. I was so pissed off at Uriah, who would keep on saying, "I'm a humble person, so is my mother. We have a humble home and humble this and humble that and humble everything". And I was glad to know how he was found guilty. I was actually waiting for that chapter. Hehe. I like books which have happy endings. Yep, Dinky Mind doesn't like to contemplate much on the sad endings. :)

The lesson that I've learnt from this book is, "Three things you should always remember: Never be proud, always be kind, and never be dishonest."

And I bought another book - Best Quotations for All Occasions. Back in A-Levels, we used to have this book - Collins Dictionary of Quotations, and I always wanted to have it. Now I've got a similar book, and I'm so happy to read it.

Remember people, exactly after a month I'd be celebrating my birthday, so please buy nice books for me abhi se :P

Aray, I heard this cool song on radio when I was driving to office. But could hear only a few lines :( And it goes like:

لیے آنکھوں میں غرور

ایسے بیٹھے ھیں حضور

جیسے جانتے نہیں

پہچانتے نہیں

:) Lol. It's a song by Ahmed Rushdi, and I just can't find any link to download it from. So if anybody has this song with them, please please please mail me. Thankooo :)

Cheerio foilks =)

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I feel like "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yabba Dabba Dooooooooooooooooooooooo (ing)"

Don't mind, Dinky Mind has lost her senses. She's missing Lala, Talal (remember the one I was going to get married to?) and Aashoo :(

And she wants to read a good book in this cool cloudy weather (with cashew nuts, of course). So, any recommendations?

And she's wondering why do these stupid guys at office fix their belts or adjust their trousers in front of the whole world.

And she's disgruntled at the office boy who has made Nido milk's coffee :/ Who likes Nido or any other powdered milk? :

And she's looking at her hands and counting those uncountable lines. Okay, that was exaggeration. But Dinky Mind likes to exaggerate :)

And she's thinking in how many equal strips a paper is divided when you pass it through a shredder.

And she wants to go and pull the string of those window blinds so she could see the nice weather out there, but she knows that these three people who actually "own" this window wouldn't let her do it (neither does she has the courage to ask them or do it herself). Meano people!

And she wants to go out on a shopping spree. Haye, when will I go to buy clothes for Eid? :$

And she's trying to straighten this paper clip.

And she's wondering how many millimeters are there in 12.76 kilometers.

And she's looking at this glass of water and trying to identify the upper and lower miniscus.

And she just found out that miniscus and meniscus mean the same thing! [People just like to invent new spellings for the same thing]

And she wants to go sit on the tip of a mountain and enjoy the rain pellets.

Okay, enough blahs for today. I'm happy now. In an hour I'd be out of here and I'd be enjoying the weather!!! :) Cloudy weather always makes me happy :D

Cheerio folks =)

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Belonging to an Urdu-speaking family, we are very (okay, I'm somewhat) particular about the gender of certain words. Following are those few words whose gender is disputed! Lol.

• Road: So, what do you say, "Road hota hay" or "Road hoti hay"? Well, I think Road is a larka, so it should be "Road hota hay", but many people think ke "Road hoti hay". Now look, Road lamba hota hay, right? 'Sarak' lambi nae hoti, that's why
  روڈ ھوتا ھے اور سڑک ھوتی ھے

Clear now?

• Akhbaar: Ab please don't show your akhrotness and say that Akhbaar hoti hay. Akhbaar is again a larka. Like, "Akhbaar aaya, Akhbaar perha". I know most of you do think of Akhbaar being masculine, but back in school I had a friend who'd say "since girls are bad, and Akhbaar is bad too, so akhbaar is a larki. Hence, Akhbaar ai!" : Now argue if you can! :D

• Haleem: Yummm!!! :P I asked one of my friends whether Haleem is male or female (:P), and she said, " اگر زیادہ بنے تو حلیم ھوتا ھے، اور اگر کم بنے تو ھوتی ھے“
  

And I wondered if I asked her, "So how do you measure it then?", her reply might come out as:
اگر دیگچی میں بنے تو حلیم ھوتی ھے اور اگر دیگ میں بنے تو ھوتا ھے

If, God forbid, she had concurred with my point, I would have thought that there are people who still can beat this Dinky Mind in idiocracy!!

• Pulao: Now this is something I recently discovered :D I used to think of Pulao as a lady, and hence, "Pulao banai, Pulao khai, Pulao mazay ki thi". But this someone gave me the proof that Pulao is a boy! :D So, from now on I have to say, "میں پلاؤ کھاؤں گی " But that makes it a girl again. Wait, let me make a male version of it ;) " پلاؤ بہت اچھا تھا" Fine?? :P

• Dahi: All those who say "Dahi khai, Dahi khatti thi" are wrong!!! :) Well, I used to say the same, but then I was told ke Dahi is a larka. So, from now on, you all have to say

“دھی اچھا تھا“ :)

So, we all need to learn the proper gender of words before, one day, we start saying

" لڑکا ھوتی ھے اور لڑکی ھوتا ھے“

:D

Aray, this reminds me that over the weekend I saw this rickshaw which said,

"آج پھلجڑی ھوں، کل پٹاخہ بنوں گی“

Lol! :D People are so funny.

Cheerio folks =)

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Since I waste my 2 precious hours driving daily, I've got a little too many stories related to this topic.

Sometimes these slow drivers irritate me a lot (so I start changing lanes and irritate others :P). Anyways, coming to the point. This lady with her family was driving a Mehran and wasn't giving me enough space to overtake (/undertake (is there any such term in driving?)), so I had to slow down the speed and follow her : There were three kids sitting at the back, and an uncle on the passenger seat. And then the eldest kid turned around and looked at me and kept on staring!!! I got a little confused. I looked at her as if "well, what happened?". Then she jolted both of her siblings, they turned around too and started staring like their sissy (Sissy, for me, is long for Sis). Ufff, 6 eyes, all focused on me, made me more confused! I tried to give them a fake smile, but it didn't work. Those kids were making me very uncomfy. I wanted to overtake the car as quickly as possible. And then I finally got the chance, and as I went past them, I saw, from the corner of my eye, all 5 of them staring at me!!! I was really about to say, "KYA HAY BHAEEE? Never seen the 8th wonder???"

When I narrated this story to my parents, they laughed and said, "You must ride a cycle, you really disappear in the driving seat!" Boo hoo :'(

Cheerio folks =)

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If you have to go to the washroom over here, you enter this corridor, there's a kitchen + dining hall on the left. Leave it. Take a left turn, and you'd be near the washrooms. The ladies' one's on the left, and the gents go straight. Just yesterday, my friend Al and I had to do wuzu and were walking through the corridor, when some guy (who was coming behind us) almost whispered, "Director's inside!". Both of us thought he's probably talking to himself. I went up to the washroom's door and turned the knob. Locked! Confused, I looked at Al, and she gave blank expressions too. Before I could knock the door, Mashkoor sahab opened it from inside and with his eyes fixed at the floor, he walked out with "Sorry, sorry!" Hahahaha..

Later, we went to the receptionist and asked her why the Director did that. She gave such a funny reason (which he must have given to her too) that when there's no one in the ladies restroom, he goes in, and people usually know he's inside (I wonder how!), and when the door is already locked - means some ladies are inside, he, without knocking the door, goes straight to the men's washroom!!! What an idiocracy!!!

His "sorry, sorry" still makes us laugh. =) And did I tell you there're just 5 and a half female employees in the office? Well, I'm an internee :P

Cheerio folks =)

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This is the book that I've finished reading just yesterday. And it's really nice. Couldn't digest the heavy and archaic vocabulary of Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy. Even Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is also waiting to be read. *sigh*

I've learnt so much from this book, from all the five people Eddie meets in Heaven. The ending really made me cry, when he met his last person.

And here's a quote I like about the book:

"Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother's approval, a father's nod - are covered by their own moments of accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their live."

And another,

People say they "find" love, as if it were an object hidden by a rock. But love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find then is a 'certain' love. And Eddie found a certain love with Marguerite, a grateful love, a deep but quiet love, one that he knew, above all else, was irreplaceable. Once she'd gone, he'd let the days go stale. He put his heart to sleep."

A must read, I must say!

Cheerio folks =)

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Lol, not in that sense, but I seriously can't speak!!! That's true. And being quiet for even 5 minutes bugs me a lot. And even if I speak, i sound like Mr. Bean! :( Dayum! That's not fair!

Had an appointment with the dentist's today. And after a 1-hour wait, he pushed the retainers in my mouth in just 10 minutes! And man, this stoopid thing is making my mouth all watery! :/ On my way to the office (after the dentist's visit), I had my mouth stuffed with tissue papers! More than half of the box got empty in my 10-minute drive, leaving a trail of wet tissues on the road. And when I reached office, at the entrance, I met this old security guard who would always greet everyone with his wrinkly smile. Instead of saying "Walaikum Assalam", I just nodded and smiled and quickly paced towards my office. I felt so bad then :(

And now, in the office, I'm conversing with people by writing my messages on papers! :
When I wrote, "I've got braces. I can't speak. Any task for me?" and showed it to my boss, he was about to write the reply, when he realized and asked stupidly, "You can hear, right?" And I nodded again :D I'm surely going to have a serious pain in my neck now - have to nod every now and then.

Even drinking water has become a problem for me. It seems like passing through many rivulets before finally flowing down to my tummy.

Please pray for me. These retainers are more menacing than the fixed braces. :S

Cheerio folks =)

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Today I saw this thela-wala, pushing his falooda cart, and on it was written:


کیوں کھڑا ھے پریشان
فالودہ پی میری جان


And it reminded me of all the funny stuff that I'd read on shops, trucks, rickshaws and walls.


نچ بڑے شوق سے
ادھار اگلی چوک سے

اف باجی ، رکشہ گئی

کوئی جل گیا، کسی نے دعا دی
جلنے والے کا منہ کالا

قسمت آزما چکا، مقدر آزما رھا ھوں
ایک بے وفا کی خاطر رکشہ چلا رھا ھوں

مست نگاھوں کو سلام

ِجِنے اپنی ماں نوں ستایا
انے ساری عمر رکشہ ھی چلایا

ُفُلّی ایر کنڈیشنڈ

آخری گولی

پائلٹ سیٹ

مِس کال

[I even took the picture of that "Aakhri Goli" and "Miss Call"] :D

"Fully Airconditioned" was a bus with no glass windows. And "pilot seat"...well, you all know ;)

Reminds of this photo that I took on my way from Hyderabad to Karachi :D

Cheerio folks =)

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Sometimes this thing pisses me off and sometimes (just sometimes) it makes me smile.
Just yesterday, I was driving back home when I got stuck in a traffic jam on this busy Shahra-e-Faisal. There were a few motorbikes walas near me. One of them said to his friend, “Ye ghar walay chotay bachoun ko kaisay gaari chalanay dey detay hein?” and then laughed loudly. This infuriated me so much, I turned and glared him (although I’m always advised to ignore such *beeps*). Another bike wala, who was at a little distance from this *beep* one, looked at him and said, “badtameezi ki bhee koi inteha hoti hay”. And thankfully, in the meanwhile, the cars started moving and I raced quickly towards my destination.

Another such incident also happened yesterday. There were three teenage boys trying to cross this same busy Shahra-e-Faisal, when one of them (who looked Sudani/ Makrani), tried to peer in my car for a few seconds, to make sure he wasn’t looking in an un(wo)manned car, then he nudged his other two friends and as I passed by him, I overheard him saying, “Oh look at that miniature!!!” I’m now thinking of giving up my desire to enjoy the nice evening weather and slide the window up to save myself from such comments. [That wouldn’t be of much help either – people can’t stop staring at the tiny thing in my car] :/

When I started taking my car to the uni, my friends used to say, “Ye itna bara jahaaz tum chalati ho?” I don’t think Corolla is that big a car, and neither am I a tiny tot! They shouldn’t say like that. It just shatters my desire of driving a Hummer. :P

Cheerio folks =)

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