5
Mosqis!
Posted by Umema Siddiqi
on
Sunday, August 20, 2006
in
l'humour
According to Macmillan English Dictionary, a Mosquito is “a small flying insect that bites the skin of people and animals in order to feed on their blood.” But according to me, a Mosquito is more than an insect and an infuriating piece of filth! At the moment, you might not completely agree to my definition of a Mosquito, but I am sure when you’d finish reading this post, you would call a Mosquito by even worse names, which I am avoiding to type here!
The torment starts every night, when I lazily throw myself on the bed. It’s the time of the day when I expect and desire a few moments of complete serenity. But you all are quite aware of the teasing nature of the Mosqi family. The moment I sit on the bed, the whole Mosqi community attacks me as if I have stolen their buffalo! They make the weirdest of noise in my ears as if warning me not to harm them. I, being a respectful girl, stay quiet, but even at that they hurt me! Sometimes they even show their reverence and kiss my feet. Within a few seconds, my feet turn red - not because of the red shade of lipstick that Mosqi Ladies wear but - because of the way they sting my poor feet. Yikes! It feels like they have got a real sharp needle by which they prick them. I don’t know how to ask those evil Mosqis to get a piece of mind and just think of the fact that I cannot ever get a spare pair of feet for myself.
Just imagine how helpless I feel when I see those Mosqis sitting on my feet, treating on my blood, and when I furiously attempt to land my hand to crush them, it only hurts me! Yes, those ill-mannered creatures manage to make an easy escape and then they dance in the air to boil my blood up even more! I irritably stare at them and make a vow with the whole mankind to crush this nauseating little force tonight. So, I pick up a thin book or even a magazine and run after them in the whole room – search for them behind the curtains and on the bed, near the shelves and inside my cupboard. And folks, you can’t imagine how victorious I feel when I slam the book and kill a few. It feels like a wave of ecstasy has swept over me and I feel a little relieved.
You might be thinking that a sensible way to kill these Mosqis is to use a mosquito coil, mosquito mat, or a mosqi-killer spray. I do have all of them and I have tried them. But all that results in Mosqis becoming more and more narcissistic and then they attack you with even greater strength. If you have tried all these things, you will agree that these things are just a loss of time, money, effort, and most of all patience!
Dear Mosqis, this is my humble request to all of you. I will respect you only if you don’t hurt me. I promise that. But, there’s one more thing I want to say. I would like to tell you that change is a good thing. Try to understand! Why don’t you guys either just change yourselves or change this place. The whole world will welcome you. You see, we don’t like to give you our few droplets of blood. You have infected us beyond limits. Why don’t you find a new neighborhood, a new house, new people? It’s going to be an awesome experience. Trust me!
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The torment starts every night, when I lazily throw myself on the bed. It’s the time of the day when I expect and desire a few moments of complete serenity. But you all are quite aware of the teasing nature of the Mosqi family. The moment I sit on the bed, the whole Mosqi community attacks me as if I have stolen their buffalo! They make the weirdest of noise in my ears as if warning me not to harm them. I, being a respectful girl, stay quiet, but even at that they hurt me! Sometimes they even show their reverence and kiss my feet. Within a few seconds, my feet turn red - not because of the red shade of lipstick that Mosqi Ladies wear but - because of the way they sting my poor feet. Yikes! It feels like they have got a real sharp needle by which they prick them. I don’t know how to ask those evil Mosqis to get a piece of mind and just think of the fact that I cannot ever get a spare pair of feet for myself.
Just imagine how helpless I feel when I see those Mosqis sitting on my feet, treating on my blood, and when I furiously attempt to land my hand to crush them, it only hurts me! Yes, those ill-mannered creatures manage to make an easy escape and then they dance in the air to boil my blood up even more! I irritably stare at them and make a vow with the whole mankind to crush this nauseating little force tonight. So, I pick up a thin book or even a magazine and run after them in the whole room – search for them behind the curtains and on the bed, near the shelves and inside my cupboard. And folks, you can’t imagine how victorious I feel when I slam the book and kill a few. It feels like a wave of ecstasy has swept over me and I feel a little relieved.
You might be thinking that a sensible way to kill these Mosqis is to use a mosquito coil, mosquito mat, or a mosqi-killer spray. I do have all of them and I have tried them. But all that results in Mosqis becoming more and more narcissistic and then they attack you with even greater strength. If you have tried all these things, you will agree that these things are just a loss of time, money, effort, and most of all patience!
Dear Mosqis, this is my humble request to all of you. I will respect you only if you don’t hurt me. I promise that. But, there’s one more thing I want to say. I would like to tell you that change is a good thing. Try to understand! Why don’t you guys either just change yourselves or change this place. The whole world will welcome you. You see, we don’t like to give you our few droplets of blood. You have infected us beyond limits. Why don’t you find a new neighborhood, a new house, new people? It’s going to be an awesome experience. Trust me!
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